My husband has a beard. And his beard has a name: Scrumptious. That’s right, Gary has a beard named Scrumptious. It makes an appearance every year when the weather turns cold, which means that right now, Scrumptious is in full bloom.
Gary works outside and he seems to think that Scrumptious keeps his face warm. Which may be a valid point, but there are plenty of people who work outside without a giant ball of fur adhered to their face. Last year, a herdsman gave Gary the nickname “Yukon Cornelius”… you know, the axe-wielding character from the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer movie. I would say that is an accurate description.
Would you like to meet Scrumptious? Well wait no further:
I know what you are thinking… “that’s hot!”. Well hands off ladies because he is all mine. Would you like another look?
Don’t you just want to run your fingers through all of that fine facial hair? I would caution against it as you may be bitten by one of the small woodland creatures that has taken up residence in Scrumptious. I suppose if you have had a rabies vaccine, you will be okay.
Just in case you wanted a closer look, here you go:
I thought black and white would be a nice way to capture Scrumptious’s more sophisticated side.
Oh, who am I kidding. There is no sophisticated side to Scrumptious. Just as there is no appealing, endearing or even remotely attractive side to Scrumptious. I mean, the dog doesn’t even want to go near it:
FYI, this dog eats out of the litter box. Hmmmm, she finds Kitty Roca appetizing, but Scrumptious repulsive… that is a pretty strong statement.
Boyfriend, I know you love your beard. I don’t pretend to understand why, I just accept it.
And I am hoping for a warm spell real soon…